Everyone has a funny story of their ill-advised exploits after an alcohol overindulgence. Some take it to the next, even more ill-advised level. We’ve gathered four stories of ridiculous DWI cases from around the United States, and decided to make up one of our own! See if you can spot the fake. We’ll announce it on Facebook, so be sure to follow us. Even if you get it wrong, just know you won’t look nearly as foolish as these guys!

On Thin Ice

In Fargo, North Dakota, 27-year-old Steve Anderson was brought up on DWI charges for operating a Zamboni while intoxicated. Following the completion of a high school girls’ ice hockey game, he hit the ice in his Zamboni, but onlookers noticed a bit of a wobble in his driving. Sure enough, Anderson had snuck alcohol into work – an infraction which ultimately cost him his job and led to criminal charges. Luckily, nobody got hurt. Hey, they may move as slow as iced molasses, but those brushes are no joke!

A Real Time-Saver

Brunswick, New York police enjoyed what’s likely the easiest DWI arrest in history. A 50-year-old man from Troy pulled up right next to their patrol car, exited his vehicle, and quietly sat himself down in the back seat of theirs. Field sobriety tests were administered, revealing a blood-alcohol level of 0.18. Hey, we have to give this guy points for self-awareness!

Playing Chicken

Farmer Douglas Malcolm had more to worry about than his criminal record when police outside of Okoboji, Iowa pulled over to help him try and catch a small flock of Rhode Island whites that escaped from his truck after a broken latch popped open. As the terrified chickens flapped around shrieking, the cops noticed an open bottle of beer sitting right there in his cup holder! Brave man. From there, he underwent a field sobriety test and, while his blood alcohol level was only just over the limit, there weren’t too many outward signs of impairment. Although we don’t know how you could tell with all the mayhem around!

There’s no word on whether or not Malcolm ever got to see his chickens again.

Nom Nom Nom

We’ve got plenty of advice on how to handle getting pulled over for a DWI, but we can’t in good faith recommend this tactic by a Greenwich, Connecticut man pulled over in Port Chester, New York! Authorities initially stopped Kenneth Desormes for speeding, but gave him a breath test back at the station when they suspected alcohol was involved. It’s probably a safe assumption that he was, since he yanked the results of his Breathalyzer test out of the printer and ate them before they could be analyzed! Not only was he charged with a DWI, but obstruction of justice and tampering as well.

I Say Thee, “Neigh!”

Who knew that horses counted as motor vehicles? Apparently they do in Kentucky’s Jessamine County, where 55-year-old Danny Reynolds was apprehended with a blood alcohol level double the legal limit while riding his horse home from his son’s birthday party. Although on the surface this story sounds absurd, state law there does actually prohibit operating non-motor vehicles while under the influence of alcohol.

No animals were harmed, thankfully!

Houston DWI Defense

As much as we laugh, DWIs are no joke. If you’ve been arrested and need representation, contact Thiessen Law Firm today for a free consultation.

(Have you figured out the fake story yet? The correct answer is – drumroll please – “Playing Chicken!”)

Thiessen Law Firm

Mark Thiessen is an aggressive trial lawyer best known for his devotion to justice for his clients and high rank as a DWI Super Lawyer in Texas.